If you are looking to make changes in your life, it would be a great idea if you knew the philosophy and strategy of anyone that you have chosen to help you on your journey. To greatly oversimplify the philosophical aspects of your relationship with your therapists, there are those that believe that people are broken in some way, and therefore the therapists role is to help that person by “fixing” them. Other schools of thought believe that people are working in a manner that serves a purpose, or once served a purpose in the past, and here the therapists role is to help the person realign their behaviors, feelings, and intentions. This therapist believes that all behaviors originate with a positive intention, and the behavior may still exist even though the positive intention is no longer being served.
By way of example, imagine a child that was told in some form “if you’re good, you can have dessert”. This child will learn that being good and eating sweets are tightly linked, and perhaps later in life, this child will self-medicate with food. There are many adults that are unconsciously programmed to seek out sweets when they feel bad, stresses, or anxious, and thus “feeling good” and “being healthy” are now in conflict with each other. The “feel good” program is run by the unconscious, while the “eat healthy” program is under conscious control and thus requires will-power and constant effort. My observations are that unconscious programs tend to win over time, and with some people, it does not take much time. Look at New Year’s resolutions as another example of conscious effort vs. unconscious (sometime habitual) programs.
As a practitioner, I believe that people are whole, that they are doing the best they can at any moment, and that changes can be defined consciously (but not implemented) simply by asking, “What would I like to be doing/thinking/feeling instead of how I am doing it now?”. If there are any unconscious influences on behaviors that want to be changed, these changes will occur more quickly and easily if the unconscious mind is enlisted in making these changes rather than ignored or over-ridden.
Ready to make some real and lasting changes? Call or write.